Sex &
Relationships
Talking about sex should be a normal part of life.
But if sex or intimacy issues are causing problems – either for you alone, or between you and your partner – it’s best not to leave them to fester.
Unreliable Erections (or Erectile dysfunction)
Loss of desire
Loss of sexual intimacy
Niche sexual desires
Mismatched sexual desires
Men often have problems with sustaining erections or premature ejaculation. For women, it may be painful sex or a lack of orgasm. One of the partners losing the desire for sex is also very common.
Plus worrying you’re not ‘normal’ or ‘good enough’ can make things a hundred times worse.
But the biggest barrier to sexual fulfilment is often not being able to talk about it.
There’s a lot of temptation to compare yourself to others, and worry you’re not up to scratch.
But the truth is:
There’s no ‘right’ way to do it.
Unfortunately, that’s not usually the case.
That means a lot of questions remain unanswered.
(Or worse, you ask the internet for answers, and that can make things worse).
Is my sex drive normal?
Why don’t I want to have sex?
Why do I want sex?
You deserve to be sexually at ease.
You’re worthy of a judgement-free, compassionate space, to discuss what’s happening in an adult way. It’s essential to a contented sex life.
You need someone who’ll explore with you beneath the surface. You’ll learn how to dive – safely – into your past, and retrieve the underlying cause of any current symptoms.
If you work with me as part of your relationship therapy, then you’ll learn to understand each other’s sexual drives. Each week, you’ll enter a space where you can discover how to connect intimately, in a way that works for both of you.
Regardless of how ‘weird’ or ‘odd’ you think that might be.
And if you choose sex therapy as an individual, then you’ll get a safe, contained arena to completely be yourself, and drop the baggage you’ve been carting around, maybe for decades.
Whatever’s happened in your past, let’s start on a new path today. Within a space of compassionate truth, you can reach deep understanding, and practical solutions.
Sex Therapy is available for both couples and individuals
Couples Therapy
As a couple, your relationship may have other – or additional – issues than sexual ones. Often, things won’t have felt right for a while.
That might be because of a big change: an affair, a baby, losing your job. Or an accumulation of small things that add up over time.
With many relationships ending in acrimony, it’s better to tackle any problems before those fault lines become too deep. But there’s only so far you can go, talking between the pair of you.
Sometimes, it can feel as if you’re going around in circles – or that it seems like you’ve reached an understanding, only for things to slip back again.
In a couple, there’s more going on than the relationship between you. There are also your separate back stories, and the narratives you’ve learned along the way.
That’s a lot of untangling to do, and it’s not surprising if you can’t do it alone.
Having a non-judgemental outsider who’s trained to deeply listen, and pick out the important things you say (and don’t say) could be the most important investment you make as a couple.
That’s true if you’re in the middle of a crisis, or if everything’s gone a bit ‘meh’. Or if you’re OK as long as you don’t discuss the issues rumbling beneath the surface.
You don’t want a couples counsellor who’s going to take one side over the other. And you definitely don’t want someone who’s going to impose their ideas of what a ‘normal’ relationship is.
I don’t believe there is such a thing.
You evolve and grow, and so your relationship must as well.
You’ll never go back to how things were. But you can do something much better: start a new stage of your relationship, one built on maturity, and a deep understanding of yourself and each other.
Learn how to disagree amicably
Ask for your needs to be met, and get OK with them not being met all the time
Put your relationship on a new footing
Get to the heart of the real issues in your relationship, and tackle them one by one
FAQs
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All kinds. However you identify, and whatever type of relationship you’re in – including a polyamorous one – we can do good work together.
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Yes. If you’re not currently in a relationship, but a sexual issue is bothering you, we’ll get to the heart of it, and free you for the future.
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If you’re having an issue in your relationship, it’s usually better to work with the two of you in the therapy room. We need to focus on what both you and your partner need. That way, we can work on the relationship as a whole.
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I may incorporate aspects of CBT into the work we do, but the type of therapy you get is one that’s right for you. Every one of my clients is unique, and so you get the counselling that fits the best.